When did this all start to go down so fast, so rapidly? Was it bad fate all from the beginning? And when did I start taking myself down again? I really thought, I was finally over this whole bullcrap, but obviously, I'm not. I'm still running after people, I still care way too fucking much. I still care too much about people, who are mentally destroying me, so hard, that it's getting painfully numb and dull around me. I'm so tired of this whole bullshit, tired of always fighting her, tired of always being the goddamn asshole, tired of always being at fault in her eyes. I'm still taking such huge efforts to show her, that I'm not going to leave her alone, but actually...
Actually I really fuckin' want to let go of her now... Because she's annoying the shit out of me. Because she always ruins my damn mood. Because she loses her shit from 0 to 180 and vents her anger on me, when she can't have what she wants. Because she can't fuckin' take what she's dishing out. Because I'm so sick of being her punching bag and not feeling loved by my own best friend.
Well... maybe it's better that way. Maybe I should just stop caring again. Maybe I should stop forgiving now...
Maybe it's time to end this now.
